As a freshman in high school I was cut from the high school soccer team.
Absolutely devastating. I’d been playing club soccer at Utah’s highest levels since I was 8. Several of my teammates were in the same school boundaries and would be my high school teammates too, others were supposed to become bitter rivals for the spring season. Except, I was the only one that didn’t make it.
After crying myself to sleep over the “end of my life” I went to school the next day, where I received this message from the office at lunchtime. “Coach would like to see you at practice today.”
*Unbeknownst to me several parents, teammates, and club coaches all gave the high school coaching staff an earful for cutting me.
I showed up for practice, was told to suit up, then fell in line to start hitting drills with everyone for the next 2 hours.
I played on the team my entire freshman season as a Complete Imposter.
How did my season go? Well here’s some figures:
I was assigned jersey #39, given I was now the 39th player on the team.
In JV games of 80min regulation time, I played 10min on average.
I worked hard and ran harder trying to prove I belonged.
I was super serious. Soccer was not fun.
I’m grateful I stuck with it, I really am! There was another 3 years of incredible soccer waiting for me in high school! That said, I wish I would have smiled, made a few friends, cheered from the sidelines, and enjoyed being rowdy in the locker room after a big win.
Instead I clocked in, worked my tail off and kept my head down all while staring at my meager paycheck of 10min / game hoping they’d multiply.
⚡️ F5 Fast Files - Short Summary
You can earn your minutes and still miss the season.
Imposter mode can be the fear of “I don’t belong” or “I’ll belong if…”
Joy and brotherhood aren’t rewards after you earn them.
🎭 The Bargain That Costs You the Season
I was on the roster and had earned some playing time. I still missed the season.
Not because I was injured or quit, but because I bought the idea that “I’ll belong if I prove it hard enough.” (many of you, like me, seem to buy that bull over and over again)
That bargain lets you keep your jersey, but lose the locker room. Keep the drills and lose the friends. Keep the work and lose the FUN!
Imposter syndrome isn’t only the fear that you shouldn’t be here. Sometimes it’s the exhausting project of trying to deserve a seat that’s already yours.
👔 Jersey #39 is Everywhere
I ran harder than ever that freshman year. Trying so hard to prove I belonged that I forgot to… well, belong!
A lot of men “on the team” right now are still living like jersey #39.
On the job, building a business, starting a family, getting in shape, going back to church… all things we advocate at F5!
Problem is we’re running too hard to EXPERIENCE the love of the game.
If that’s you this week, you don’t necessarily need a new roster. You may just need a new posture: Participate, don’t just Perform.
Heck, maybe you need both — a change of perspective and some new teammates! The fall retreat is built for just that: fifty guys who aren’t there trying to earn a spot, but to show up and be part of the team. Early bird pricing ($50 off) ends September 17! If you’ve been meaning to grab a spot, this is the week.
Practice belonging on purpose this week. Smile! Cheer somebody on. Stay for the locker-room part. You’re already in the game, don’t miss the season.
Justin
F5 Brotherhood
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