Man, what an exciting few days!
This week we’ve finally moved into our new house!
The kids are running through the halls.
The boxes are stacked in every room.
After years of envisioning this place, the dream is real.
But if I’m honest, there’s something I’ve been wrestling with.
For years I’ve told myself I was building this house for my family.
To create a place where we could grow, make memories, and create a HOME
Yet carrying the weight of this project affected me.
As stress got higher, my patience got shorter.
My relationships suffered
I wasn’t always showing up as the husband and father I wanted to be.
This line of thinking has led me to some painful questions
⚡️ F5 Fast Files - Short Summary
Most fathers rate themselves lower than I expected
The greatest fathers in history experienced the same doubts
Free Campfire AMA with men’s therapist, tomorrow night
📣 Shoutout to Bobby Jamieson for offering amazing insight to this topic last week!
📊 Where You At?
This last week I listened to stories and saw countless posts on social media about fathers. Some told idealized stories of heroism, others talked about not having a father present and how they’re trying to change that for their kids.
It made me wonder, where do I rank? Am I a good dad? If it all ended right now, how would I be remembered by my kids? “He built us a cool house I guess”, but is that it? Was I ever even there? Was it worth the cost or did I get it all wrong?
One of our brothers Bobby Jamieson posed this question to 20 different guys: “On a scale from 0 to 10 (Worst to Best), how would you rank yourself as a father?” Almost all of them replied with a 5 or a 6. Not terrible, but not great.
Bobby said, “In my mind these men were 10’s! Some of the greatest men I know struggle with insecurity or self-doubt in the arena of fatherhood.”
We’re all battling the same root questions aren’t we:
“How am I doing? Am I enough?
🙏 Connection, You’re a Reflection
Why do good fathers consistently underestimate themselves?
Because we’re judging ourselves by our failures while everyone else judges us by our faithfulness.
Great fathers struggle too, in fact, scripture is chuck full of examples of fathers who felt inadequate:
Adam and Jacob in the old testament
Lehi and Alma in the Book of Mormon
The powerful teachings of the prodigal son in the New Testament
God The Father lost 1/3 of the hosts of heaven, his children.
I don’t know exactly what these men experienced when outcomes didn’t match their desire, probably a lot of these same feelings I’ve described above, but each of them had a common response.
Faithfulness.
They offered sacrifices, they prayed, they followed the promptings of the Holy Ghost, they never stopped teaching and praying for their kids.
To all of the father’s that don’t feel they are good enough, who struggle with addictions, temptations, with difficulties in your marriages, with divorce, and wayward children, never abandon the relationship you have with God.
As the called steward for your family, in a role that is reflective of God himself, know that his promises go with you too, especially in fulfillment of this role as father.
🧠 What about here and now?
Your personal relationship with God and faithfulness to him needs to be prioritized. That work is up to you.
In the meantime, we have a here and now opportunity starting tomorrow evening!
This Thursday at 6:15pm Mountain Time, Logan Bleazard a men’s therapist from Breakthrough Therapy will be leading an anonymous AMA campfire chat (the first of 4 upcoming AMA chats) All members of F5 are invited to attend. Yes, FOR FREE.
To mark your interest on the event and ask questions to cover on the call, use this link: https://discord.gg/bBnWVZ88?event=1518683769236623440
As a brotherhood I believe it’s important for us to point to resources that lift each other. We’re not in this alone, you’ve got brothers who have your back! Logan is an incredible resource and I for one am looking forward to the session. Come join us and find out if it’s helpful for you too.
The greatest fathers aren’t the ones who never doubt themselves, they’re the ones who keep showing up anyway.
Thanks for all you guys do, but more than that, thank you for who you are right now! See you tomorrow,
Justin
F5 Brotherhood
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