Last Thursday, two guys from Fire Team Alpha and I set out to hike Mount Superior. It was a steep 2,800 feet of elevation gain in just 2.5 miles. We made it, though, and the conversation the whole way up was worth the burn in my legs and blisters on my feet.
At the 11,000 foot summit one of the guys led us through a breathwork practice. The plan was simple: let go, get grounded, create space to connect with God and ourselves.
But what the heck was that crawling on me?
Flies and ladybugs kept landing on me. Legs, arms, once on my cheek. I was trying to stay in rhythm with the breathing pattern we were following, but all the while I’m becoming the bugs version of an 11,000 foot hike!
⚡️ F5 Fast Files - Short Summary
Are the bugs or the people hardest to ignore?
How much shame do we manufacture before anyone’s even said a word?
I opened my eyes and didn’t find birds, I saw heaven.
🧘 Just Me and Heaven
Twice, other groups hiking Superior passed right by us. Three grown men lying on our backs, breathing loudly on purpose. My mind started wandering. “We look ridiculous. Should I sit up, say hello, explain what we were doing? Wait which breath pattern are we on? How many people can realistically fit on this peak? …”
I didn’t need to talk to them or even acknowledge them, but all of a sudden I felt silly doing what we were doing. Why?!
Once I stopped fighting the bugs and stopped wondering what those hikers thought of us, something shifted. I sank into it. Just breathing, eyes closed, present.
At some point, another guy climbed up and sat down nearby, far enough to give us space but close enough i could have let my self-consciousness loose again. I didn’t even notice him arrive.
By the time I opened my eyes, the sun had turned brilliant, the clouds were soft and playful, and there wasn’t a single bird in the sky at that altitude. Just me and heaven. No one else to perform for. No one to wonder about. Just the view and connection I’d almost missed because I was too busy worrying what a stranger on a trail thought of me.
🏛️ The Great and Spacious Building
This reminded me of Lehi’s vision of the tree of life — specifically, the second group in that dream.
They didn’t chase some empty promise of pleasure. They actually made it. Clung to the rod of iron the whole way, reached the tree, tasted the fruit. Then they looked around, saw the people in the great and spacious building mocking and pointing fingers at them,
“And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost.” (1 Nephi 8:24–28)
It’s hard to have people scoff at you, but how often are we triggering shame before they even say anything? We lose our focus, not because anyone is scoffing, but because we’re hedging against the possibility that they might.
😎 Don’t Be Too Cool
Some of our distractions are just circumstantial → wind, difficulty, plain bad luck. That’s part of why we climb mountains, walk into temples, and seek out quiet places in the first place: to remove some of that noise. But even there, at 11,000 feet, above the tree line, past where the birds fly, we can still build our own distraction.
Looking around for approval instead of up toward the reason we came.
So don’t be too cool. Don’t be too cool to ask for help. Don’t be too cool to approach heaven in humility. Don’t be too cool to look a little ridiculous doing something that actually matters to you.
That’s exactly what fifty of us are doing together this November at the “Captain of My Soul” retreat in St. George: showing up, looking a little ridiculous, refusing to be too cool to ask. Early bird pricing ($50 off) runs through September 17, so if you’ve been on the fence, this is the week to stop being too cool to register 😏
🏔️ Set On a Hill
“Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.” — Matthew 5:14
I was literally sitting on top of a big hill last week and I almost missed the experience because I was worried about who was watching. Let them watch! That’s part of the calling.
You don’t get to opt out of being seen. You just get to choose whether you spend that visibility hiding, or actually living. They’re your goals and dreams, it’s your connection with heaven. Live your life looking up rather than side to side.
Justin
F5 Brotherhood
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